Screw that, back to bathing. Progress post July 8, 2013

Ok, my no shower challenge was very short lived. By the 3rd day, my skin was so icky feeling (perhaps from the cetaphil) that I was rolling a ton of dead skin off in these rubbery rolls and still itching like crazy.
Luckily, I moved into a house with a clean bathtub and since then I've been taking baths about every one to one and a half days.

For the time being, I have been bathing with Aveeno's colloidal oatmeal packets and it seems soothing enough, but I have yet to try other additives. I also use Free & Clear shampoo and conditioner in the bath, try to rub off all my dead skin at the end of my soak and then rinse off briefly at the end.

My skin seems slightly calmer and less red, though the itch is not any less. My face and arms have not been too red but they are still swollen (to a layman they say it looks "normal" but the skin is elephant-like and rough) and my back just looks very spotty but normal colored. My tummy is the only place that is still very red and hivey.

On the one hand it's good b/c outwardly I look ok. On the otherhand, people look at me and say, Oh, you look way better! but in fact I feel just like crawling out of my skin just as much.

I've also discovered Gold Bond Itch Relief which is a godsend right before bed. I slather it on the back of my neck mixed with Zinc Oxide and any other itchy spots and the cooling sensation lasts for just long enough as I drift off to sleep. The unfortunate part is when it wears off and I have to slather it on again and again while I'm awake.

My sleep pattern has not improved much either. Like clockwork, no matter when I sleep, I can only get about 2-3 hours of sleep before I pop up in an itch fest. These days I try to wake up all the way and walk around so that I don't tear myself apart. In conjunction with the Gold Bond, it seems to be helping me get back to sleep faster. I still wake up with torn skin unfortunately but it seems like less than when I first started this TSW journey.

Along with the lack of sleep is my extreme irritability and emotional instability. I lost it a couple times already when a friend joked with me and it just hit a nerve and I broke down into tears. I finally arrive at the fact that I'm sleep deprived and such but at that point I already scared him off. I am almost thinking that being a shut in is better than trying to force my social interactions. Definitely still trying to find a balance.

All in all, I've almost accepted this as my current way of life. I try and occupy my time with things other than focusing on my skin such as computer games, TV shows and the occasional video yoga session. I've already replaced my wardrobe with TSW friendly clothing and all my makeup is packed away except for my bare minimum for workdays but that is a post for another day...